Episode 76

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith.

Today I went for a walk.
I colored with chalk.
All around the block.

I spotted a duck.
Wouldn’t you know my luck!
He got hit by a truck.

Next I kicked a ball.
Into the neighbors wall.
Alas, it did fall.

I got in trouble.
Amongst the rubble.
I paid double.

I continued walking.
And skipping.
Not to mention tripping.

Then I paused and reflected on life
And pondered why I didn’t have a wife
I realized, I’d end up with just strife.

Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 48

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. Its game day. Someone gave me tickets to a Cardinals game. Not just any old game, it’s the game that’s today. Who are they playing? Who cares it’s the Cardinals!

I hopped in my car and I went far.
I slipped on a soap bar.
I got a sandwich, grilled. Char,
that is. On the way to the game, I picked up a dame.
I don’t know her name. I’m kinda lame.
When I got there, I took my chair.
A ball went fair. I couldn’t see for the glare.
The runner came home.
We weren’t under a dome.
I saw a man playing a trombone.
He wasn’t alone.
The Cardinals had scored.
But then rain poured.
In a delay I got bored.
I prayed to the Lord,
please let the Cardinals win!
I was poked by a pin.
That was a sin.
The game started again.
The Cardinals kept on winning.
Someone kept on sinning.
It was just the beginning
of the ninth inning.
Pujols hit it hard.
It went out of the yard.
It landed in the lap of a bard,
eating a can of lard.
The game was at an end.
I drove round the bend.
I was left to fend
for myself, because it’s the end.

Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 17

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. Today is Halloween. That strange holiday, celebrating strange costumes and greedy little children. The one time of year – not counting Christmas – where you can be very, very greedy. I have not decided what costume I should wear yet…any suggestions? I think I will go as the all duck-tape man, maybe wrap myself up like a mummy with duck-tape. But last time I did that I got an awful rash and I lost all my hair. A couple years ago one of my friends suggested I dress up as a globe, he said that I wouldn’t even need to use any padding. I’m not sure I like that idea. As I wandered through the streets looking at all the other children’s costumes, trying to decide what I liked, night had already fallen, and people were handing out candy to greedy little fat children. I felt compelled to write a poem. And here is my poem:

I rounded a corner and lo and behold,
I saw Old Saint Nick, trembling and old.
He stared and he glared and he grumbled at me.
He stared so long I charged him a fee.
He stopped in his tracks.
He started to scream.
The world around me shifted,
As if in a dream.
And poor old Saint Nick, he turned and he fell.
And he didn’t stop falling till he landed in hell.
The moral to this story?
Look both ways before crossing the street.
I’m not sure why, but it sounds kind of neat.

Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.