Episode 14

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I detaste water. In fact, I never did taste it. I live on coffee. Without coffee, I would be a slow, shallow reflection of a person who does not pause to reflect on anything. My house is full of coffee makers. I normally drink 51 cups a day. On an abnormal day I drink 68. If it were not for coffee, I would tend to be shallow, and I would tend to repeat myself. Did I mention that this is a reflection from the life and times of Mr. Smith? I would tend to be more random in my speech. Like I might be talking along about bootstraps, and how I like eating coleslaw with my hair ribbons on a hot winter day. But anyway, back to the coffee. Without coffee, I would be lost. Like a moth in a snowstorm. Like a centipede in a desert wind. Like a pin in a straw stack. Or even like a crouton on a salad. Like when my old neighbor Mr. Jones used to come over and say “you drink too much coffee, bub.” I would normally say something funny to the effect of “your house is ugly. So is your swimming pool.” He never thought it was funny, but it would always make me split my sides with laughter. Either that or I was bursting from too much coffee.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 13

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. Today I went back to Starbucks. The only problem about drinking coffee in space, is that I imagine you might be burned rather easily. I paused and I reflected on this. And I went out and bought a burn-proof jump-suit. And a flame-thrower to go along with that, just because I’ve always wanted one. Suddenly I was inspired…no, never mind. So as I drove my rocket powered car to Starbucks, I barely was able to stop in time. I should have installed better breaks. But with the lab being temporarily…or, permanently out of commission, I don’t think that’s going to be an option. When I walked into Starbucks, I was sorely disappointed. No one there was floating around; no one was even in space. I decided to put that Starbucks in space. I grabbed a few plastic spoons, and I headed outside. There I commenced to dig. Once I had gone about a mile down below Starbucks (this only took about an hour being as I am very fast with plastic spoons) I quickly drove my rocket car down there, disassembled the engine, and connected it to the base of the building. I rigged up a remote control starter and quickly got out of there. As I was getting ready to press that little red button, I paused, and reflected. And realized, this might not be a very good idea. So I decided to call up the Starbucks and told them all to strap in. Up with the engine, up went the Starbucks, and out into space. I forgot to give it a way to come back. Oh well.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.