Episode 72

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. This morning, I decided it was time for another trip. It was time to go to the beach. Then I paused and reflected on life and I pondered beaches. And which beach I should go to. There’s the beach...on the west coast. The beach...on the east coast. The beach...on the south coast (excluding Mexico of course). And the beach on the great lakes. The beach...in Africa. The beach...in England. The beach...on the Red Sea. The beach....on the Dead Sea. The beach...on the Sea Sea. Oh! CiCi’s pizza...on the beach. With MLT on rye, when the mutton’s nice and lean. (That’s mutton lettuce and tomato by the way.) The beach in Hawaii. The beach in Fiji! Yes, Fiji. That would be my destination. It has been a long time since I’ve seen her. Yes, I am referring to...the blond native. I hopped on a plane. An airplane. I even remembered to buy a ticket. My flight was rather uneventful. Made out with a couple stewardesses...stole a couple blankets...threw up my shrimp all over the lavatory. Dumb airplane food. But like I said, rather uneventful. I was slightly befuddled and bewildered to see Hurley on the plane. And Kate. And Jack. And Sayid. Some dude with his face all bloodied and bashed in, and his arm in a sling. And also Sun. The whole Lost cast was on board. Fear gripped my heart. My hand gripped my chest. Then, it happened. We crashed. Now I had been in many other plane crashes before. But this one was different. All the Losties vanished in a flash of light. Then, we crashed. We just kept crashing, as if we were stuck in a time warp. They were there one second. They were gone. We crashed. They were there again. They vanished. We crashed. They re-appeared. Poof, they were gone. We crashed. Disgusted I stood up, walked to the end of the room, pulled out the DVD, and blew the hair off of it.
    Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 67

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. This reflection is from my reflection on the Lost island. I awoke to the sound of raining coconuts...and mangoes...and papayas...and dogs? Or actually it was just one dog. It was a yellow lab. This made me pauses and reflect the merits of traveling with animals...and traveling with children. Seeing as the two are very similar. Suddenly I was astonished to see the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen. The long locks of curly hair...and then he turned around. I’m only interested in large women....not large men. The person walked up to me and was like “Dude...dude.” So I was like, “Dude.” And he was like, “Ok, dude.” And then I paused and reflected on life and tried to understand what had just transpired between us. He motioned and was like, “Dude.” And I was like, “Cool.” Together we walked towards their encampment on the beach. My new friend was a man of few words. Until he stepped on a sea urchin. I learned many words that day I had never heard before. They were Korean. The survivors of the plan crash took me in like a son...or an elderly grandfather. I lived with them happily for many days. Till they discovered I was not on their flight manifest. Me and some other dude named Ethan. He didn’t last long. Neither did I...but long enough to make out with Kate ;) Thus ends this Lost reflection.
Thus ends this week’s reflection. And then my mirror image disappeared.