Episode 69

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I decided to go for a walk. I had not done this in a while. Perhaps too long. My legs were weak and flabby. I could hardly see my toes over my belly. Too much mayonnaise. Today I decided to take my music with me on my walk. I constantly see people with ipods and mp3 players and walkman radios and various other instruments. I decided to bring my boom box with me. Just held it up to one ear and started walking. I was blasting Beethoven at the top of its.... volume level. Suddenly I heard a voice. “Beethoven?” I asked.
“No dumb-dumb.” Replied a female voice. It was Beethoven’s wife. I paused and reflected on life. I had my suspicions that Beethoven’s wife was already dead. Thus this woman could not be she. I did not voice my opinion. Instead I simply said “hello.” When I opened my eyes, I saw quite a sight. The most hippiest hippie I’d ever seen. Man, she was hip. She was tight. She was LEGIT. FLOWER POWER!! I had met a genuine hippie. I was pleased. I hadn’t met a genuine hippie since mi papa left. He was a Mexican hippie. Now I’m not talking about my birth father, of course, I’ll never tell you anything about him. I’m not part Mexican just so you know. I don’t want you picturing some little Hispanic person with a little goatee. I am a Caucasian person with a big goatee. Gosh, get it right!
Thus ends this week’s reflection and then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 12

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. This morning I decided to go to Starbucks. I heard it was an awesome place. I would assume Starbucks would have something to do with space. I would assume they would sell spacesuits and things of that sort. I paused, and I felt compelled to reflect on life, and realized, Starbucks is also called Starbucks coffee. And it might be rather fun to consume coffee in space. I jumped on my unicycle and rode down town. Upon pulling it up to Starbucks, I noticed there weren’t many spaceships around. I was rather disappointed. And I paused and reflected on life and the merits of having rocket propelled engines instead of gasoline. I decided to delay my Starbucks visit for the day, and went over to the lab to produce a car with a rocket engine. The boys at the lab – God rest their souls – were excited to see me again. Last time I was there I created a machine that gave you an instant haircut. (That was after my little hippie sprint.) The good news is, I succeeded in making my rocket propelled car. The bad news is it took two tries. Well…craters are kind of attractive. I think everyone should be making them. They go well with other things that can be seen in space like the Grand Canyon and the Great Wall of China. Good thing the lab is so far from my house.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 11

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. Emotions…are so emotional. Why do we have emotions? I pause, and I wonder. Then I reflected. And I reflected some more. Then I felt compelled to become a hippie, and spread the loooooooove. So I grew my hair really long. This took only a few days, because I used hair tonic. That stuff works miracles. Then I bought some groovy clothes. And I went outside, ready to spread the love. But, mysteriously, everyone had disappeared for the day. If I didn’t know better, I’d say they were hiding. Good thing I know better. They were all going to throw me a surprise birthday party. Everyone in town. I hope they know what I like. A big cake and lots of presents. I hope I get a motor scooter. On the day of my birthday, I walked in my house, expecting to be surprised. Fortunately, I wasn’t disappointed. My neighbor’s cat was dead, in my house. Fortunately that was not the only surprise that day. They did throw me a birthday party. Threw it in my window. Poor cake got glass in it. Maybe they don’t like me so much. Naw…I’m such a nice guy. I just love to spread the love.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.