Episode 52

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I decided I had gone too long without a job. Ever since my factory exploded, I had been living off my dearly departed mother’s endless wealth. When thinking of where I wanted to work, I first thought of my interests. Of course, food came to mind. And I thought of my favorite restaurants. Chick-fil-A…I could eat there 7 times a day. I went into my closest Chick-fil-A and asked for an application for employment. A girl who appeared to be 13, with no chin, brought me an application. I asked for a pen. She didn’t have one on her, so she called over to the other side of the room, “Ben, can I have a pen!” Then, out of the back, came a tall…handsome…masculine…distinguished looking gentleman. It was Jason, the manager I had talked to last time I had been there. He said “oh, we’re hiring! Don’t bother filling out that application - you’re hired!”
“Thank you.” I said. “How much does this job pay?”
“How much are you willing to work for?” He responded.
“100 dollars an hour?”
“You’re fired.”
Sadly, I turned to leave. I was trying to make him feel pity for me. It didn’t work. I left the restaurant feeling dejected. I had forgotten to eat any food again. As I was walking out the door, I bumped into a tall, graceful, youthful girl, who doesn’t spill pasta all over the counter. “Pardon me, ma’am,” I said. “Allow me to get the door for you.” I tried to pull it in, but it would not budge. I pulled with all my strength. The young lady said “Push!” I knew right then and there that I had made a fool out of myself.
Thus ends this week’s reflection. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 29

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. To get to California first you must know where it is so I paused and looked at my trusty globe which I carry everywhere. After studying the globe for what seemed like hours, in fact it was hours, I discovered I don’t know how to read a globe. Instead I just followed my gut. It led me to the nearest Chick-fil- A. I walked into the restaurant and waltzed up to the counter. I got a bunch of strange looks for that. I talked to a girl behind the counter but she couldn’t tell me how to get to California. I sat and I paused and pondered my situation. Then I reflected on the merits of just picking any old direction and hitting the road. As I was pondering a manager came up to me. “You can’t sit there sir.” he said. I asked him why not, but he just stared at me. I guessed that he didn’t like that I was wearing my shoes. So I took them off. He still didn’t look happy, “Sir, please get off our front counter.” he said, with a stern expression on his face. I hopped right off the counter, then I paused and reflected on life and wondered, why is broccoli is green? Would more children eat it if it where red? Then I said, “Jason,” for that was what his name tag read “I am looking for California, can you tell me how to get there?” he just stared at me for a while, then said “Go west, old man.” I thanked him and left the building as it was. I was already in my car before I remembered that I had forgotten to remember to eat anything. Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.