Episode 71

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I had done it. I finally did it. I was victorious. I conquered the mysterious space-time continuum. I created a machine that displaced the temporal disturbances. For you unscientific people, I created time travel. What does one do when they first build a time machine? I of course went back in time and gave myself the plans to the machine. That way I could create it in half the time. Then, instead of taking two years, it only took one, and i had the whole other year to stalk....I mean, date...Charlene. Next place I went was my wedding day. I was slightly surprised to see Kate there instead of Charlene. Blasphemy! Fortunately, my future is not set in stone. Most of my friends were there. Well I mean, two out of three came. That’s not bad considering. Four if you count pastor Bill. He’s sort of a friend. As long as I keep paying my tithe. Yesterday he started a fifty part sermon series on the giving of tithes and offerings. Did you know bananas taste funny when you mix them with chopped anchovies? Who’d have thunk it? Another curious thing about my time traveling machine, which I discovered, was that wherever I travel to, a copy of me was left there. I mean, can you imagine a wedding with two grooms? AWKWARD. I went back in time to the Civil War, many times over, and created an army. The south nearly won the war! If only I hadn’t stopped to pause and reflect on life in the middle of the battle field...all twenty thousand of me. I’ll never go back to Gettysburg again.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.