Episode 65

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. The president called me again. There was a tear in the space-time continuum. This looks like a job for…Mr. SMITH! The tear was residing over Australia in the approximate vicinity and time of September 23, 2003. My journey had begun. My job was clear. Repair the hole! Not that hole, you idiot! I hopped on the URSTUPID and did some quick travelin’. Pretty soon, I was in Australia, mate. There, I met the king of Persia. That dude is awesome. First thing I knew, he started playing some screamo music…on his harpsichord. It really pulled on my heart strings. Then I paused, and reflected on life, and the merits of screamo music, and realized…there were none. A typical realization for a genius such as I. Now I’m not a registered genius mind you…but I did score pretty high on my genius test scores. Anywho….(make that with four o’s…or, four and a half…). Anywhooooc? Where was I? Persia? No. I was Lost. I was Lost. I said that twice…no matter. I realized…I had to get Back to the Future. I had repaired the hole…not that hole you idiot! I repaired IT. Unfortunately, I was too late to catch flight 815 before it flew through the rip in space-time continuum. Poor Lost souls (emphasis on the Lost.) If I never shave, can it stay as scruff forever? Have you ever noticed that Jack’s scruff NEVER grows out? And that he always breathes REALLY hard? I’m sensing a connection between breathing and hair growth. I think I should start breathing on my chest…
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.