Episode 41

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I, Mr. Smith, battered and bruised, black and bloody, I…needed to go home. Home is where the hurt is. I mean…the heart. There I was in Alaska. I knew I needed to go home. Wait…I already covered that. I started walking south. After I had been walking for what seemed like minutes (because it was) I bumped into something white and soft. It was the rear end of a polar bear! The camera zoomed out and I saw a humongous heard of polar bears blocking my path! And I pondered, why do polar bears travel in herds? In fact, I don’t think they do. Then I paused and reflected on life and how much these polar bears resembled sheep. I decided to brave the sheep and walk through. On the other side was portal to Kansas, otherwise known as a tornado. I took one step, then two, then three, then five. I skipped over four because there was some sheep doo. After I had waded through the sea of sheep, I looked back on the herd, I realized it was very small. Suddenly my hair stood on end and I was sucked up into the portal. The land around me went dark. When I opened my eyes again, I was back home, in Kansas. I looked down at my little dog and said, “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Alaska anymore!” Then I realized, I didn’t have a dog. And its name wasn’t Toto. In front of me, I saw my house – nothing like the sweet smell of home. Then I gagged, and realized there was nothing sweet about it. The septic tank had exploded.
Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.