Episode 80

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. I was one step ahead of her. Or at least I was trying to be. It was rather hard though, seeing as I was on foot running backwards down the sidewalk, wearing handcuffs. And she was in a car. Driving forwards. Down the sidewalk. With an angry face. I begged her to reconsider. I said, por favor! Por favor favor favor favor! That's four favors by the way. As I stumbled, I was trying to pause and reflect on life and ponder my circumstances. But if I did, I would surely be run over. I could not explain the look of glee on her demented face. I had done hardly anything to annoy this woman. I had existed, I suppose. But then, so had she, and everyone else in the world. And now, let me tell you and everyone else in the world something. Let this be a lesson to all ye people. If ye boast, boast not in your own powers of weirdness. But rather, in something else...being...less weird....than you. And ye should not make bets about racing cars while running backwards in handcuffs.
    Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.

Episode 79

Reflections from the life and times of Mr. Smith. There I was. Where I was, I do not know. THERE, I was. Where was there? There was where. There was a hair in his glare. Where was the hair? In his glare, on a chair. He tripped on a stair and landed there. Yes, we had arrived on the moon. I was shocked. And appalled. No, just shocked. The moon didn’t make me sneeze. The moon was not made of cheese. Wheez. I was on the moon, I had sealed my doom. There had not been enough room in the space shuttle to the moon. Thus, not enough air to get there. My fellow astronaut had not...not arrived safe and sound. It was my fault, that was clear. I shouldn’t have drunk so much beer. Oh dear. All year oh dear. Would I now be stuck? Was that my present luck? Is that a duck? Yes, indeed it was. Then I paused and reflected on life, and contemplated getting a wife...for that poor duck. Then I realized, it was a plot. A plot of land. And I was home, in my own backyard.
    Thus ends this week’s reflections. And then my mirror image disappeared.